“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe.
When I first heard this quote, I was not surprised. Many women have the belief that it is completely fine to behave in low value ways with men and that it won’t cost them anything. But the truth is that the standards that you set for yourself are the ones that will determine how a man treats you.
Once you can truly understand why setting high standards for yourself matters, you will be able to reach a level that most women never reach with men. You will be able to attract the most desirable, quality men like a magnet.
MEN TREAT DIFFERENT WOMEN DIFFERENTLY
Let me start by saying that as a woman, you have been born with a special gift. Simply by the nature of being a woman, you do not need to DO anything in order to be deserving of love. You are worthy of being loved just as you are.
Although you do not need to DO anything in order to be worthy of love, it is important to understand that men treat different women differently. Is she a High Value woman who loves herself? Or is she a woman who shies away from life, lives in fear, and settles for “good enough” treatment? Men are always asking themselves these questions and they treat women accordingly.
This is why a man may only want sex from one woman and yet he will commit himself entirely to another woman. A man may be inattentive and cold with one woman, and yet be respectful, flexible, and understanding with a different woman. Sure, this can depend on the nature of a man – but it also MAJORLY depends on the woman and how he sees her. Read this article to find out why everything you know about attraction is wrong.
If you want to attract a High Value Man who will cherish you and treat you like a goddess then you must be willing to challenge yourself to become a High Value Woman who intentionally chooses her behaviour. All it really takes to become a a High Value Woman is to choose to be one!
A HIGH VALUE WOMAN DOES NOT JUST “EXPECT” TO BE LOVED
Marilyn Monroe’s quote implies that a woman should expect to be loved at her worst – that any sh*tty behaviour of hers is excusable. That a man should simply accept her or move on because hey, if he doesn’t like it, it’s not the woman’s problem, it’s his problem – right?
Wrong. This is the very type of thinking that prevents many women from attracting good men and it is definitely not how a High Value Woman thinks. These days, most women are focused on what a man can do for THEM and ways that he can prove himself. They set a bunch of expectations for men – but no expectations for themselves.
Women who think this way end up attracting Low Value, small minded, and selfish men.
If you take the advice to “just be yourself” on a date, you run the risk of High Value Men not seeing your true gifts. If, on the other hand, you want to attract a desirable, High Value Man who will give you everything and who will have all of the qualities that you are looking for, you need to look at things in an entirely different way.
A High Value Woman does not just “expect” to be loved, because she is not just a taker, she is also a giver. She is a woman who is willing to ask herself what she can offer to a man, rather than first and foremost wondering what he can do for her.
A High Value Woman pays attention to what men value in a woman and she cares about how a man perceives her. She contemplates how she can inspire a man. When a High Value man meets such a woman, he is drawn to her right away. He sees that she is interested in him and he senses that she is full of radiance and feminine energy. She is open, kind, and accepting. She comes from a place of love, NOT a place of negativity, judgment, and expectation – and he can’t help but think wow, how amazing is she! Read this article to learn what it means to be a feminine, irresistible goddess.
At the same time, a High Value man KNOWS that he has a lot to offer and he does not spend his resources (such as time, money, attention, connection, and vulnerability) on just ANY woman because these are major investments for him. He wants to see what value YOU have to give and once he sees that, the right man will be more than happy to give you everything that you want. But he wants to see you show up as a High Value Woman first.
Let’s clarify something, here… a High Value Woman is not perfect by any means. She simply knows how to present her best self. She is not afraid of being bold and spicy, or of showing off her favourite dress. She embraces her playful side and is not afraid to admit that she enjoys a man’s attention. She understands that she has a role to play in the masculine-feminine dynamic and she is willing to give back.
What I am getting at is that if you want to live and breathe in your most desirable, feminine goddess energy and attract High Value men, then you cannot take the common advice “just be yourself” at face value. You must accept responsibility for how you show up with a man and be willing to do the work to become a High Value Woman. I promise you, the reward is incredible.
HOW DO YOU SHOW UP ON A FIRST DATE?
Imagine the following scenario.
You are about to go on a first date with a guy that you’re excited about and you want to make a great first impression.
You ensure that your hair looks top notch, you spritz on your favourite perfume, pick out the perfect date outfit, maybe go over some affirmations – whatever makes you get in the zone and feel beautiful. When you meet your date for the first time, you feel relaxed, feminine, fresh, and flirty, AKA your best self. Your high vibe self. You’re not worried about rejection because today, you are Miss Confident. Read this to for 11 powerful tips to get him to commit.
Of course, in reality, things are not usually as smooth as this (you may be anxious – and even a little bit sweaty like I was on some dates :)) but once you get comfortable, you will ideally show up as the best YOU. Not necessarily on the first or second date, but this is what happens in the beginning of every relationship. You both show up as the best versions of yourselves and it is what attracts you to each other.
Now, let’s imagine the flip side.
Your date shows up sweaty and disheveled, wearing a stained t-shirt from 1989 with giant holes in it. He orders a burger, chews loudly with his mouth wide open and complains about his life throughout the entire date. You are revolted and all you want to do is run. Chances are, there wouldn’t be a second date.
The point is that “just be yourself” is not the path that will bring you relationship success. How you show up matters. In the beginning of a relationship, you basically sell yourself in order to show someone why you would be a great partner. That is how dating and relationships work. There is nothing wrong with trying to show up as your most attractive self! The women that think that it is “beneath them” to put some effort into their appearance and behaviour (why should they do it for a MAN?!) are those that do not get far with High Value men.
In order for a man and a woman to attract each other, they cannot just show up as “themselves”. They need to show up as their best selves and they cannot stop evolving – even 10 years into a relationship. Effort is what creates and maintains attraction.
COMFORTABLE IS DANGEROUS
Everyone has different moods, strengths, weaknesses, and good and bad days. You cannot always be at 100 percent, you are a human being after all. But what matters is how you show up most of the time.
The problem with being too comfortable with a man is that you are not conscious of how you come across. This can lead you to behave in low value ways which will destroy a man’s attraction towards you (or prevent him from becoming attracted to you in the first place).When a woman fails to show up as her best, most feminine self, a man often perceives her as a Low Value Woman. This happens when a woman does things like…
- Doesn’t pay attention to her appearance, body language, how she speaks
- Overshares unnecessary details with a man (talks too much) instead of living in the moment and FEELING
- Discusses negative and mundane things instead of being a source of positive emotion
- Spends too much time worrying and overthinking instead of relaxing and having fun
- Does not set boundaries and standards for herself (and for a man), lets bad behaviour slide
- Behaves too “friendly” and tries to be his buddy instead of a lady
Doing these things can push a man away and prevent him from committing to you. In a long term relationship, these behaviours lead to loss of attraction, desire, and connection for both partners. Eventually, both partners stop trying to impress each other. They stop trying to make each other happy. They stop communicating and stop wanting to fulfill each other’s needs. This leads to resentment, arguing, and looking and feeling like roommates, rather than lovers.
This is why it is important to be a High Value Woman. A lady. A woman of high standards.
You deserve a relationship of the highest quality. A relationship with a man who will make you feel attractive, desirable, and loved. A man who will want to give you more and more because of how much value you give to him.
All it takes is a shift in how you show up. You must be intentional when it comes to your behaviour with men. It all starts with YOU. You have to decide whether your desire to become a High Value Woman outweighs your desire to attract a “comfortable” and (eventually) dull and lifeless relationship.
DON’T DO IT JUST FOR A MAN
The truth is that becoming a High Value Woman is not just about a man. It’s about creating a win-win situation for both yourself AND a man. Once you become a High Value Wonder Woman who is in love with herself, you will attract a man as a byproduct. If you combine that with your understanding of men – you will become an irresistible, unstoppable goddess.Men will naturally be drawn to you because they will pick up on your amazing energy. Read this article to learn why you MUST learn to love yourself first.
Here are some examples of my personal rituals that help me to feel High Value, feminine, and attractive to both myself AND my husband;
I do not wear pyjamas around the house. I normally wear something comfortable yet attractive – it may even be something that I would wear when I go out like a cute dress. Most importantly, it is something that I feel good in.
I wear makeup when I am at home, (not every single day, but often). Why? Because it makes me FEEL a certain way. It makes me MOVE a certain way. It shifts my internal state and helps me tune into my feminine energy. My husband appreciates it when I look and smell nice. As a man, he sees immense value in that – and funny enough, he doesn’t even have to SAY it – I can tell by the way that he responds to me.
The point of having these little rituals or habits that make you feel feminine is that they will help you to be more effective at everything you do. They will help you feel and act like your best self. So take care of yourself out of love for YOU – and you will also radiate high value vibes that a man will pick up on. A man will fall in love with you only once you fall in love with yourself.
If you want to attract a man who will treat you like a High Value Queen (or if you just want him to START), then remember – you cannot just “be yourself” on a date or in a relationship. You need to be intentional with your behaviour and show up at your best as much as you can. Invest in yourself and start living in your radiant, feminine energy until it becomes a part of your daily self. Remember – your love life begins with you.
If you want to learn how to show up as a high-value woman, date effectively both on and offline, and stop chasing men once and for all, you will find my top dating tips in the ebook program How to Date Like a High-Value Woman.
Love, kisses, and blisses,