“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe.
When I first heard this quote, I was not surprised. Many women have the belief that it is completely fine to behave in low value ways with men and that it won’t cost them anything. But the truth is that the standards that you set for yourself are the ones that will determine how a man treats you.
Once you can truly understand why setting high standards for yourself matters, you will be able to reach a level that most women never reach with men. You will be able to attract the most desirable, quality men like a magnet.
THERE IS NO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
Let me start by saying that as a woman, you have been born with a special gift. Simply by the nature of being a woman, you do not need to DO anything in order to be deserving of love. You are worthy of being loved just as you are.
At the same time – there is no such thing as a purely unconditional relationship. Yes, you can love someone deeply. Yes, you should be able to face challenges and ups and downs in a relationship without running for the door. But if both partners are not meeting each other’s needs and are unhappy, then there is no reason to stay in that relationship.
So it’s important to accept the fact that love in itself is not enough for a fulfilling relationship. You still need to provide value as a partner (and so does a man).
The reality is that although you are inherently worthy of being loved, the state of your relationship with a man is determined by how much value you can give, how well you understand men, and how “good” you are at relationships.
it is important to understand that men treat different women differently.
Is she a High-Value woman who loves herself and knows how to command respect? Or is she a woman who puts her needs last, lives in fear, and settles for “good enough” treatment?
Men are always asking themselves these questions and they treat women accordingly.
This is why a man may only want sex from one woman and yet he will commit himself entirely to another woman. A man may be inattentive and cold with one woman, and yet be respectful, flexible, and understanding with a different woman. Sure, this can depend on the nature of a man – but it also MAJORLY depends on the woman and how he sees her. Read this article to find out why everything you know about attraction is wrong.
If you want to attract a High-Value Man who will cherish you and treat you like a goddess then you must be willing to challenge yourself to become a High-Value Woman who intentionally chooses her behaviour. All it really takes to become a a High-Value Woman is to choose to be one!
A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN DOES NOT JUST “EXPECT” PRINCESS TREATMENT
Marilyn Monroe’s quote implies that a woman should expect to be loved at her worst – that any sh*tty behaviour of hers is excusable. That a man should simply accept her or move on because hey, if he doesn’t like it, it’s not the woman’s problem, it’s his problem – right?
This is the very type of thinking that prevents many women from attracting good men. These days, most women are focused on what a man can do for THEM and ways that he can prove himself.
They set a bunch of expectations for men – but they forget that they cannot change a man, they can only change themselves.
Women who think this way end up attracting Low-Value, small minded, and selfish men.
In fact, there is a lot of unhelpful advice on social media out there that teaches women that they do not need to do anything in order to attract a quality man – that men should just bow down at their feet for no reason at all.
This is simply untrue – and the real high-value women who have amazing relationships understand this.
If you take the advice to “just be yourself” on a date, you run the risk of compatible men not seeing your true gifts. If, on the other hand, you want to attract a desirable man who will give you everything and who will have all of the qualities that you are looking for, you need to look at things in an entirely different way.
A high-value woman does not just “expect” to be loved, because she is not just a taker, she is a giver as well.
A High-Value Woman pays attention to what men value in a woman and she cares about how a man perceives her. She contemplates how she can inspire a man. When a High-Value man meets such a woman, he is drawn to her right away. He sees that she is interested in him and he senses that she is full of radiance and feminine energy. She is open, kind, and accepting. She comes from a place of love, NOT a place of negativity, judgment, and expectation. Read this article to learn what it means to be a feminine, irresistible goddess.
Let’s clarify something, here… a High-Value Woman is not perfect by any means. She has light and dark sides. She is flawed and she accepts herself anyway.
She simply knows how to present her best self. She is not afraid of being bold and spicy, or of showing off her curves and her smile. She embraces her playful side and is not afraid to admit that she enjoys a man’s attention. She understands that she has an important role to play in the masculine-feminine dynamic and she is willing to give back.
What I am getting at is that if you want to live and breathe in your most desirable, feminine goddess energy and attract High-Value men, then you cannot take the common advice “just be yourself” at face value. Common advice doesn’t lead to results.
You must accept responsibility for how you show up with a man and be willing to do the work to become a High-Value Woman. I promise you, the reward is incredible. You can learn how to date effectively on and offline, what makes men commit, and how to show up in a way that inspires men in the e-book and audiobook program How to Date Like a High-Value Woman.
HOW DO YOU SHOW UP ON A FIRST DATE?
Imagine the following scenario.
You are about to go on a first date with a guy that you’re excited about and you want to make a great first impression.
You ensure that your hair looks top notch, you spritz on your favourite perfume, pick out the perfect date outfit, maybe go over some affirmations – whatever makes you get in the zone and feel beautiful.
When you meet your date for the first time, you feel relaxed, fresh, and flirty, AKA your best self. Your high vibe self. You’re not worried about rejection because today, you are feeling confident AF.
Of course, in reality, things are not usually as smooth as this (you may be anxious – and your palms may get a little bit sweaty like I was on some dates :)) but once you get comfortable enough, you will ideally show up as the best YOU. Not necessarily on the first or second date, but this is what happens in the beginning of every relationship. You both show up as the best versions of yourselves and it is what attracts you to each other.
Now, let’s imagine the flip side.
Your date shows up sweaty and stinky, wearing a stained t-shirt from 1989 (literally) with holes in it. He orders a messy burger, chews loudly with his mouth wide open and complains about his life throughout the entire date.
You are revolted and you can’t wait for the date to end. Chances are, there wouldn’t be a second date – am I right? But he was just being himself!
The point is that “just be yourself” is not the path that will bring you success in your dating life. How you show up matters. In the beginning of a relationship, you basically sell yourself in order to show someone why you would be a great partner. That is how dating works.
There is nothing wrong with trying to show up as your most attractive self! The women that think that it is “beneath them” to put some effort into their appearance and behaviour (why should they do it for a MAN?!) are those that do not get far with High-Value men.
In order for a man and a woman to attract each other, they cannot just show up as “themselves”. They need to show up as their best selves and they cannot stop evolving – even 10 years into a relationship. Effort is what creates and maintains attraction.
COMFORTABLE IS DANGEROUS
Everyone has different moods, strengths, weaknesses, and good and bad days. You cannot always be at 100 percent, you are a human being after all. But what matters is how you show up most of the time.
The problem with being too comfortable with a man is that you are not conscious of how you come across.
This can lead you to behave in low value ways which will destroy a man’s attraction towards you (or prevent him from becoming attracted to you in the first place).
When a woman fails to show up as her best, most feminine self, a man often perceives her as a Low-Value Woman. This happens when a woman does things like…
- Doesn’t pay attention to her appearance, body language, how she speaks
- Overshares unnecessary details with a man (talks too much) instead of living in the moment and FEELING
- Discusses negative and mundane things instead of being a source of positive emotion
- Spends too much time worrying and overthinking instead of relaxing and having fun
- Does not set boundaries and standards for herself (and for a man), lets bad behaviour slide
- Behaves too “friendly” and tries to be his buddy instead of a lady
- Pursues a man and shows up in her masculine energy on dates
Doing these things can push a man away and prevent him from committing to you.
This is why it is important to be a High-Value Woman. A woman of high standards. If you’re not sure where to start, ask yourself the following question when faced with a difficult situation on a date – “how would the best, most high-value version of me react in this scenario?”
You deserve a relationship of the highest quality. A relationship with a man who will make you feel attractive, desirable, and loved.
A man who will want to give you more and more because of how much value you give to him.
DON’T DO IT JUST FOR A MAN
The truth is that becoming a High Value Woman is not just about a man. It’s about creating a win-win situation for both yourself AND a man. Once you become a High-Value Wonder Woman who is in love with herself, you will attract a man as a byproduct. If you combine that with your understanding of men – you will become an irresistible, unstoppable goddess.Men will naturally be drawn to you because they will pick up on your amazing energy. Read this article to learn why you MUST learn to love yourself first.
Here are some examples of my personal rituals that help me to feel High-Value, feminine, and attractive to both myself AND my husband;
I do not wear pyjamas around the house. I normally wear something comfortable yet attractive – it may even be something that I would wear when I go out like a cute dress. Most importantly, it is something that I feel good in (of course, I have pj days as well ;)).
I wear makeup when I am at home, (not every single day, but often). Why? Because it makes me FEEL a certain way. It makes me MOVE a certain way. It shifts my internal state and helps me tune into my feminine energy. My husband appreciates it when I look and smell nice. As a man, he sees immense value in that – and funny enough, he doesn’t even have to SAY it – I can tell by the way that he responds to me.
The point of having these little rituals or habits that make you feel feminine is that they will help you to be more effective at everything you do. They will help you feel and act like your best self. So take care of yourself out of love for YOU – and you will also radiate high value vibes that a man will pick up on. A man will fall in love with you only once you fall in love with yourself.
If you want to attract a man who will treat you like a High-Value Queen (or if you just want your man to START), then remember – you cannot just “be yourself” on a date or in a relationship. You need to be intentional with your behaviour and show up at your best as much as you can. Invest in yourself and start living in your radiant, feminine energy until it becomes a part of your daily self. Remember – your love life begins with you.
If you want to learn how to show up as a high-value woman, date effectively both on and offline, and stop chasing men once and for all, you will find my top dating tips in the ebook program How to Date Like a High-Value Woman.
Love, kisses, and blisses,