Can you think of anything more frustrating than pushing a man away without knowing that you’re doing it? To be abruptly ghosted by him and be left wondering “But WHY?”
I feel for you, girl. We have all been there.
The truth is that there are certain types of women that cause men to run in the opposite direction…and I mean fast. These are the women that men end up ghosting or losing attraction to. If you want to be the most attractive feminine woman, if you want to find a High Quality Man and keep him, if you want to feel ultimate desire and connection with a man – then you need to be conscious of what you are doing.
If you recognize yourself in one of these 4 types of women – don’t panic. Becoming aware of your behaviour is the most important step.
Once you start showing up in the right way with a man, you will change how he responds to you practically overnight. You will know what it feels like to be wanted by him so much that he can’t imagine ever being without you.
So here are the 4 types of women that push men away.
1. The Parent
Have you ever fallen into the trap of becoming a full-on “mother” in your relationship? Treated him like he was a child? Being responsible for him and caring about everything he did and how he did it?
This is a big mistake that women don’t realize they are making and this eventually spells disaster for them.
If have read one of my most popular articles “Everything You Know About Love and Attraction is Wrong” then you know that a maternal figure is something that all men crave from a woman– but only to a certain extent.
There is a thin line between being nurturing and caring when your man truly needs it – and becoming the parent.
Women who take on the role of the parent do things like nag him to take his vitamins, tell him what he should wear, ask him whether he ate his vegetables, and try to help him solve every little problem of his. They get excessively involved in small details. If you have been this woman then I totally get it. I know that you do it out of good intention towards your man. I still find myself constantly tempted to take on the parental role (and sometimes I slip up).
But here is the problem.
The parent-child dynamic is the wrong dynamic in a relationship. It destroys the romantic attraction between you because your roles end up shifting from “man and woman” to “parent and child”. Ultimately, this dynamic won’t make either of you truly happy.
When you spend too much time and energy worrying about the little things in your relationship, when you try to guide your man through every step of his life, you take away the very thing that draws you to each other. You have to maintain a level of “separateness” in order to keep attraction alive. This “separateness” is what makes you admire and respect one another.
Trust his capabilities
When you become “the parent”, you behave like everything your man does is your responsibility. What you are doing is essentially telling yourself and your man that you don’t think he is capable of making decisions on his own. This is what makes him eventually become less and less independent. This will cause you both to resent each other and lose attraction. Read more on what truly makes a man commit here.
You have to remember that he is a grown man and it is HIS responsibility to take care of himself. He is totally capable – you just have to let him! What you should be doing is believing in a man and respecting his decisions (without getting involved every time). If you do this, you will give him an enormous gift. You will allow him to feel like a leader. To feel connected to his masculinity. This is exactly what he wants to feel around you.
Once you cultivate a new level of respect for men and their independence, they will begin to look at you with amazement because this is what they want most from a woman. You will have men attracted and pulled towards you like a magnet. If you are in a relationship, doing this will lead your man to behave in more ways that you want. Giving each other space creates that “separateness” which leads you to admire and desire one another.
The right way to show your nurturing side in order to attract a man
It is actually very important to show a man that you have a nurturing, “maternal” side to you. However, this is very different from the role of the “parent”. Showing your nurturing side means being caring, receptive, and non-judgmental.
This is the part of you that doesn’t judge men especially when they are feeling weak or insecure.
It’s the part of you that has your man’s back no matter what.
It’s the part of you that doesn’t threaten to leave every time things get difficult.
It’s the part of you that is open and accepting of the men that you are dating.
Once you show your warm and nurturing side to a man (whether you are in a relationship or dating), he will be even more drawn to you because he will feel accepted by you. This will instantly make you a more attractive woman – a High Value woman – in his eyes. Being nurturing and kind will subconsciously remind him of the unconditional love that he longed for as a child.
Ultimately, this will make him feel a deep level of trust and safety with you.
Stay away from the parent-child dynamic. It does not work in romantic love. If you want to feel attraction and deep connection with a man, then you need to give him the space to be masculine. Instead, show your nurturing and caring side by being open and accepting of him. This will ensure that the guy in your life will be wildly attracted to you not just on day one – but for the long term.
2. The Director
A lot of women take on the “masculine” role and eventually become the leader in a relationship. When you become the director you feel that you must prove how independent, strong, and capable you are at all times. You need everything to go YOUR way. You are okay with being the breadwinner, the go-getter, the “tough” one… but are you REALLY?
You may belittle or ignore your man’s opinion because you believe that you “know better”. You make all of the decisions in the relationship. Eventually, being the “boss” and the “only accountable one” starts to be more and more familiar to you.
Here is the honest truth.
Becoming the director is one of the WORST things you can do if you want a soul-penetrating relationship with a man who is head over heels in love with you. A man who YOU are also attracted to.
The problem is that you are putting your ego ahead of your relationship
In fact, you probably don’t realize how much this behaviour hurts your interactions with men – and how EASY it is to change this and have a passionate, committed, intensely satisfying relationship instead.
At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself what matters more to you. Is it having a High Quality man next to you who feels more connected and in love with you every single day? Or is it your need to be right?
You have to learn to put your ego aside for the sake of your relationship if you want to feel blissfully in love and fulfilled. This means releasing your need to be smart, strong, and “capable” all the freakin’ time. Just say NO to it and hand over the responsibility to your man.
A confident, High Value Woman knows this.
She understands that arguing and trying to be the dominant one is just not that important – because it only makes her more disconnected from her man. She puts her relationship first and chooses love and connection instead. She knows that she is already worthy and has nothing to prove to anyone. This is what makes her High Value to a man. Read more on what makes a High Value Woman here.
Do you really want to be the “strong one?”
Think about how it makes you feel to be rigid and controlling of your man all of the freakin’ time? Does it feel good in your body? I mean, TRULY good in your heart? Probably not. If you are like most women, then what feels good in your body is to lean back and feel soft, feminine, spontaneous, and taken care of. What feels good in your body is having a strong masculine man by your side and having HIM be the one that leads.
Am I right?
One of the biggest reasons that men and women end up unhappy in love is because the woman takes on the role of the director. She is afraid to relax into her true, feminine nature. Somewhere along the way, she lost the essence of her femininity and forgot that above everything else in the world, she is a woman. That’s why she controls everything around her – including her man’s behaviour, thoughts, and actions. He has gotten accustomed to living in her masculine energy.
Eventually, she of course realizes that she desperately longs to regain that feminine part of herself that she lost. Once the man in her life has become obedient, passive, and indecisive, she realizes how frustrated this makes her.
She craves to be released into her femininity. She so very badly wants to be free. To be the one taken care of for once. And guess what – this is what a MAN wants too! Most masculine men want to be ones taking care of you, being strong for you, and being accountable.
When you allow him to do this, you give him an experience of being deeply in love and fulfilled like he has never felt before. You will be wanted by him on a new level and he will treat you like a queen on a pedestal.
You have to be able to lean back and allow the man to take charge – that is how masculine and feminine energies thrive. A woman thrives in her feminine energy, while a man thrives in his masculine energy. In the e-book “Major Mistakes that 99% of Women Make With Men…and how to avoid them” to find out how to find and create soul-penetrating love.
3. The Overactive Woman.
Many women try to take on too many roles at once, not realizing that their energy is limited. They do things like work at 3 different jobs, take care of the kids, and make a thousand decisions in between. I mean seriously, how exhausting!
They have no time to relax because they are always ACTIVE.
Trying to be everything to everybody never works. You can’t give 100% into being a mother, a lover, a businesswoman, and a breadwinner.
Here is the thing, lovely.
Most masculine men are actually repelled by women who try to do it all. This is because when you try to take on the entire world, your feminine energy gets depleted and your masculine energy grows instead.
Look, I know that you are a Wonder Woman and you deserve gratitude, love, and praise for everything you do – but you have to learn to be less active so that you do not wear yourself out. If you are always busy with work and leave no time for play –
Of course you will have no energy left to be flirty and fun.
Of course you are not going to be interested in being intimate with your guy.
Of course you are going to become masculine, impatient, and controlling.
If you meet a man who expects you to do it all – then you are dealing with a Low Value Man. A man who will drain your energy and give nothing back.
High Quality, High Value men do not expect a woman to do it all. They are not attracted to a woman like that.
You can only connect to your innermost womanly self when you are relaxed. Only then can you be immensely attractive to a masculine man. Stop being so active and allow the man to take the lead. If he is a highly masculine man then he will naturally want to – and he will thank you for it. Especially when you can shower him with your femininity in return. Go here to find out how to tell if a guy truly likes you.
4. The Self-Involved Woman
Oh yes…the self-involved narcissistic type that we are all too familiar with. You have probably met at least one person with this personality.
I always talk about how one of the keys to attracting a soul-penetrating relationship is becoming a High Quality Woman. This means learning how to fall in love with YOU first. Go here to fall in love with yourself.
The problem is that there are women out there who take the idea of self-love to an extreme. They are obsessed with themselves and believe that everything revolves around them. They believe that the world owes them something – that MEN owe them something.
This is the very reason that they remain single forever or attract Low Quality Men.
A woman has to provide value to a High Quality, masculine man in order to attract him on a deep level. However, because she is self-obsessed, she is focused on TAKING value, rather than giving it. She doesn’t take any responsibility for understanding men. She’s not interested in what true value means to a man. She feels that everyone around HER should change.
This is Low Value behaviour and it will not attract the right man.
While a Low Value man may commit to a woman like this, a High Value man won’t commit in a million years – even if she is drop-dead-gorgeous. Read what makes a quality man commit here.
A High Quality Man wants a partner who can reciprocate.
This means that you must have something to offer before you expect something in return. (See the video on what men want in woman but will never tell you).
A lot of women these days put all of their effort into what is easy – physical looks. But that’s not enough. You can’t assume that if you will be “pretty for him” that it will be enough to attract a man. You have to tend to what is on the inside. You have to cultivate the depth and femininity that men truly crave.
If you have been this woman in the past (and even if you are her now) – no judgment.
I get it. Life is not easy. The most important step towards progress is recognizing that there is something you want to change.
If you want to become the most attractive, High Value, one in a million woman that he has been waiting to meet his entire life, if you want him to give up everything just to gaze into your eyes for the rest of his life, then you are already ten steps ahead of most women.
You have made the decision to understand men and relationships on a deeper level. And it only gets easier from here. You deserve to wake up to a strong, masculine man who makes you feel like you are the only woman in the world – that is what soul-penetrating love truly feels like.
See you in the next post, lovely.
XoXo,
Darya
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Right to the point! Love it!