Women who are not getting the results that they want in their dating lives often have certain things in common. They are often the ones that set themselves up for failure in love– without even realizing it.
They wonder why their story ends the same way with every guy and why they can’t seem to find a good relationship that lasts.
If this sounds like you, then today I want to share the cold-hard-truth with you.
If you are constantly getting the same results with men –it means that you are unknowingly repeating certain patterns that are causing your dating life to suffer. You are falling into the same traps over and over again.
What this means is that YOU need to change your approach.
It has been proven that the most reliable predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
This means that for most people, even if they make some progress towards change, they eventually revert to the same old patterns.
You cannot expect to get different results by using the same approach.
You must create new habits and apply them consistently until they become your new default.
So what are the 2 biggest traps that women fall into with men?
1. PICKING THE WRONG MEN
The truth is that men are not all jerks. You just tend to pick the ones that are.
You choose the wrong men because you are consistently attracted to these types of men.
The ones that eventually bring you pain.
The ones that draw you to them because of your childhood traumas that were never fully resolved.
The ones that remind you of your past relationships. They seem to give you another opportunity to prove your worthiness, to prove that you are loveable. This is what most people do unconsciously.
We are often drawn to those who remind us of what we lacked in childhood.
Our patterns of behaviour are often so automatic that we don’t even realize we have them because they have been with us for so long. This is why you have to become aware of your negative patterns when it comes to love. Once you become aware of them, you can start to change them.
Look at your history of the men you picked or were most attracted to – did they have certain qualities in common? Maybe it was the way that they treated you? Maybe they reminded you of someone from your past? Maybe they were emotionally unavailable, yet you allowed yourself to believe otherwise because you chose to see the good in them?
Or maybe, you allowed yourself to confuse chemistry with real compatibility. You felt an intense attraction to him and let it get serious but in the end, you realized that you guys had nothing in common and eventually it all fell apart.
You then ended up with someone who was hot and cold, made you feel bad about yourself, left you feeling insecure, and eventually broke your heart.
I know the story, girl.
I can relate to ALL of the above because I have been there myself. For a long time I was not choosing men consciously. I was looking at them with rose-coloured glasses on. Through the filter that I wanted to see. I was simply not aware that I was repeating the same patterns of behaviour in love.
What you really need to know is this.
If you tend to choose the same men over and over, then you need to understand that you will continueto attract those types of men into your life until YOU decide to change this. You have to decide that you deserve to be happy, to be loved, and to be cherished. That you deserve to be with a High Quality Man that worships you from head to toe and gives you the entire world – not just empty promises. Read more on what makes a man commit to one woman here.
Here is the key.
In order to start getting different results with men, you have to consciously go against your instinct.
Most of the time, the men that you are attracted to on an instinctual level are the ones that remind you of your ex or some relationship in your life that brought you pain but was also familiar to you. This is the reason that many women fall for guys who are hot and cold or are aloof and disinterested. These guys remind them of their relationship with their father or another male presence that was somehow missing in their lives.
You cannot allow yourself to fall for a guy just because you feel an attraction to him on an instinctual level. Attraction is not enough. You have to look beyond it.
Being with a guy that you are attracted to may bring you temporary pleasure – a rush of dopamine, a “love high”, or whatever other positive-yet-fleeting emotions you can think of. But if it is not reciprocal, if he does not treat you like a queen from the very beginning – then it’s not going to get better. This “superficial” attraction will likely bring you pain in the long-run. Especially once you understand that you picked this man for the wrong reasons.
The pain of healing from a broken heart is just not worth it.
It isn’t worth the temporary, roller-coaster romance that has no long-term potential.
It isn’t worth the feeling of desperately wanting more from a guy who isn’t willing to love you the way that you want to be loved.
HEARTBREAK IS NOT THE NORM
Many women believe that heartbreak is inevitable – that it is somehow the “natural” course and that everyone has to go through it.
Well, this is absolutely not true.
Let me share something that is very important to understand.
If you want to be successful in life, especially in your love life, then you have to do what most people are NOT doing. This means forgetting everything that you have seen on television and what your friends and family tell you about relationships. Most people have the understanding of men and relationships all WRONG. Going through a failed relationship is not a prerequisite that you must go through before you find true love.
There are no rules in life that say you have to go through pain, sadness and heartbreak. There are no rules that say you have to go through “x” amount of jerks before you find the one that will make you happy. Because you don’t!
It just happens to be the reality for most people because they have the wrong expectations in relationships and make the same mistakes again and again. Go here to read more on why expectations are the biggest reason that relationships fail.
Most women repeat the same patterns without realizing that this is hurting them.
Most women use mass media, friends and family as examples of what “love” looks like.
Most women rely on their emotions at the wrong time.
Most women do not educate themselves on love, relationships, and what truly works.
These are the things that cause women to fall for the wrong men, spend years in bad relationships, and then have to heal from the trauma – NOT the fact that failed relationships are somehow the “norm”. All of these things will get you stuck in the same rut in your love life unless you do something to break out of it.
My #1 program “Mistakes That 99% of Women Make with Men…and How to Avoid Them” will show you exactly how to find the right man and experience true love without ever having to go through heartbreak. Go here to find out more.
There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. There are women will marry the first person they get into a committed relationship with and will remain happily in love for the rest of their lives.
Other women will never find true love. They may have a partner or even get married but they will never experience TRUE love – the way that it is meant to be experienced. Not because they don’t want to but because they don’t know how to create it and how to attract the right person. They never seek to understand men and relationships on a deeper level.
They are confused, misinformed, or ignorant when it comes to love.
This is just extremely sad and disheartening. Can you even imagine that? Never knowing what it’s like to experience authentic, soul-penetrating, reciprocal love?
I don’t know about you but that is the scariest thing in the world to me. Just the thought of it gives me the shivers! Ever since I could remember, I knew that finding the love of my life was one of the things that I wanted most.
Now that I found it I understand that love really is the most powerful and beautiful force in the world. It is definitely no fairy tale, but it makes life vibrant and alive like nothing else in the world. Click here to find out how to ensure that you find love.
But it requires a change in perspective and letting go of old patterns of behaviour.
2. THREATENING A MAN’S SENSE OF FREEDOM
The second biggest trap that most women fall into is threatening a man’s freedom. Many women do not realize how destructive this can be.
It is important to understand that freedom is one of the most important needs of a man – not only in a relationship but in life. In fact, it is probably the most important need. It will win over everything – even over his “undying love” for you. Find out more on how to understand men here.
The problem is that most women begin to expect more and more from a man the longer that they are in a relationship. They fall into patterns of controlling and demanding behaviour. They do things like withhold affection, communication, and sex as a way to GET something from the man. They become needy, demanding, and manipulative. Men are terrified of women for this very reason. Nothing is worse for a man than losing his freedom.
If he feels that his sense of freedom is threatened and it has anything to do with you, he will eventually start to distance himself from you.
Freedom for a man includes things like
- the freedom to be himself
- the freedom to stand out
- the freedom to be creative
- the freedom to be respected
- the freedom to have his space
- the freedom to lead
- the freedom to do, say, and feel what he wants to
- the freedom to RELAX
Women tend to threaten a man’s sense of freedom by asking questions like
“Did you take down your dating profile yet?”
“Why aren’t you calling more?”
“When are we moving in together?”
“Are you going to ask me to marry you anytime soon?”
Of course, it is important for you to discuss your vision and goals for your relationship. There must be movement and progress and if there isn’t then this has to be addressed.
But asking the wrong questions at the wrong time and in the wrong way can make a man feel pressured and cause him to pull away from you. Go here to find out what makes him behave hot and cold.
He wants to be inspired to give you these things, not be pressured to. The best thing you can do is inspire him to do more, to be better, and if he loves you – he will want to give you more.
Men want FREEDOM. They cannot remain truly in love and connected if they don’t have it.
What most women don’t understand
The reason that freedom is a scarce commodity for men these days is that many women refuse to accept the fact that they need to care about what men want in order to have true, soul-penetrating love. Instead, they just do what comes naturally which is eventually restrict a man’s freedom, get upset, and make it about them. And really, you can’t blame us – as women, we want to feel safe and secure in a relationship, it is in our DNA, in our blood, in our very core. But we have to learn to rise above this instinct.
A mature, High Quality, High Value woman understands this.
She is willing to step over her ego and to serve her man. She can give him what he needs – even when it is uncomfortable or scary. And it can be terrifying.
She can do things for him without asking for something in return (of course, he has to have shown her that he values and respects her). That is exactly what makes a man fall and stay head-over-heels in love. When he is made to feel like a king. Find out when and how to pursue a man the RIGHT way here.
If you can accept the responsibility of making a man happy (rather than thinking only about your own needs in a relationship), everything will change.
And by making him happy, I don’t mean fixing all of his problems or becoming his personal therapist. That is definitely NOT your responsibility. I am talking about making him fulfilled within the context of your relationship. Giving him what he needs from a woman –such as freedom. Read this article to find out what men REALLY want from women.
Emotions are your domain
You should never expect a man to do all of the work, especially when it comes to the emotional aspects of your relationship. As a woman, you have much more power than a man to mold a relationship and you should take advantage of that. A High Quality Woman uses her understanding of men to create the relationship that she desires or to leave the one that does not serve her.
I already know that you are a High Quality Wonder Woman. Because deep down, you KNOW all of this. All it takes is a little push so that you can start to show up in the right way with men. Do not allow fears, old patterns, or a lack of understanding get in your way of finding true, soul-penetrating love. Find ways to empower and love yourself so that you have the confidence to achieve exactly what you want in life. Because you deserve the best,
Remember, your old behaviour patterns are just habits – and habits can be changed. It is all up to you.
You can radically change the type of love that you attract into your life and find a High Quality Man who will be addicted to you, I promise you! Go here to find out more about my #1 program “Major Mistakes that 99% of Women Make with Men…and how to avoid them” if you want access to life-changing insights that most women will never be aware of.
Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts!
Wishing you love, kisses, and blisses!
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