Remember that guy who dated the same girl for EVER without taking the relationship to the next level?
Remember how that relationship ended and how he proposed within a few months of meeting someone else?
The fact is that most of us can think of someone who has been in this situation.
Has this scenario ever made you scratch your head and wonder WHY? If so, then you are not alone.
Why do men take so long to commit to one woman and yet do so with their eyes closed to another woman?
Why is it that some guys can’t wait to get into a loving, committed relationship whereas others seem to have a perpetual fear of commitment?
There are a few important reasons for why he won’t commit that I am going to uncover for you in this article. By learning what they are, you will be able to have a lot more control over your love life because you will understand why men behave the way they do – and THAT is your key to finding love for life.
Remember. There is always a reason for why a man behaves a certain way.
The reasons that determine whether a guy is ready for commitment can be divided into 2 categories.
1. The first category has nothing to do with any woman at all. It has to do with his own emotional unavailability and readiness to commit.
2. The second category has entirely to do with the woman in his life and whether he wants to commit specifically to HER. This is where YOUR job comes in.
First and foremost – if you want to know how to get a guy to like you and commit to you, you need to understand what men want. If you haven’t seen the video on the 5 crucial things that all men need, go to it here.
So let’s get down to it.
this is Why He Won’t Commit (to You or Anyone)
A man’s decision to commit or not may have nothing to do with you (or any woman). Here are some big reasons why he won’t commit that have nothing to do with the woman he meets.
1. he is just not ready for anything serious
A man may be not interested in a relationship because his past experiences with women have jaded him.
Lots of men have commitment issues because they have deep seated fears of being with women. Most have had negative experiences with women and so they expect the next woman to be exactly the same.
Just like women, many men have been in bad relationships and have an underlying fear of being hurt again. Many men have built resentment against women for this reason and often start to believe that “all women are the same”, that they are all takers, and that there are no good women left.
The truth is that men often fear getting into a new relationship because they feel that they have a lot to lose. The arguments, the conflict, the controlling behaviour that many men eventually experience with women are just not worth it for them. That is why they feel that it is easier to remain single.
Think about yourself – you probably know what it is like to have a broken heart or to have been disappointed by a man.
It feels awful, right?
If you’ve ever been through a painful experience with a man (or several men), it probably caused you to build up anger and distrust towards them. It may have led you to think that all men are the same.
In reality, this is far from the truth. All men are NOT the same, but this is what media, society, and your friends have made you believe. The same goes for men and how they feel about a lot of women.
A lot of men themselves may not even realize that they aren’t ready for a commitment. This is why a lot of guys are out there on the dating market, swiping through dating apps but they flake out when it comes to the first signs of anything serious.
2. Some men are still boys
Some men have not grown-up yet and they simply do not want the “responsibility” that comes with a relationship because they are simply too self absorbed in their own interests. These men are usually takers. They may be emotionally unavailable, shallow, and disinterested in anything serious because it is too scary for them. They are too stuck in their ways to level up, to grow up, and to become a man who has something to contribute. Read more on how to spot a masculine, High Value man here.
These types of men live for the purpose of stroking their own egos. They only know how to expect, expect, expect from others. Unfortunately, these men are often attractive to women because they come across as charismatic, unattainable, and confident. But really – they just don’t give a sh*t. That is why they end up causing a lot of pain to women who fall for them.
Don’t get me wrong, everyone has a right to live their life however they choose to. However, when it comes to relationship material, these men are NOT it. If you meet a man and he seems unavailable emotionally or in some other way, then he probably is. These are the men that you want to not only stay away from but to RUN away from.
3. the timing is wrong
Never underestimate the power of the right (or the wrong) timing. We are all on our own paths in life and things may ebb and flow, just as people may come and go. We change and so do our interests and needs. This is why it is important that two people meet at the right time in their lives in order for a connection to happen. This is why you need to be able to determine (early on) if he is actually looking for a relationship and also if he is actually READY to commit. A man may not be ready for a relationship right now because of the timing in his life.
If a man is too busy with work, hobbies, and obligations and he is not even thinking about a relationship right now, then it is probably not the right time for him to get into a relationship and this is why he won’t commit. Trying to capture his interest will be difficult (although not impossible). Chances are, the most you will have with him is a casual fling. But he will not have the emotional resources to commit to you at this point in his life.
Maybe his new job requires him to travel constantly for work or maybe he is going through some big changes in his life that he is adjusting to. Maybe he went through a devastating heartbreak a month ago and he hasn’t had enough time to recover.
These are just some signs that a man may not be ready for a relationship right now.
Here is an important point to consider.
For most men, their main priorities in life revolve around their goals, ambitions, and self-actualization.
Of course, you should never FULLY rule out the possibility of a relationship with a man you are interested in – I am merely talking about factors that may make it more difficult for him to commit. With the right approach, almost anything is possible.
When you do the inner work so that you can become a High Value woman, you will maximize your chances of showing him that you are not the SAME as all other women which may get even the most commitment resistant man to change his mind FOR YOU. Learn how to be the most attractive, feminine goddess.
When you meet a guy that catches your eye, it is important for you to know what stage he is in his life. If he is all about partying and lacks any signs of stability, then it may be the wrong timing for him. The choice is up to you if you want to make the decision to wait around for a guy who is not ready.
If you truly want a fulfilling relationship with an emotionally available man – a man who will shower you with affection and commitment, then he has to have resources that he can share with you. He has to have enough time and energy to give to you.
And hey, want to know the beauty of how timing works? When the RIGHT guy enters your life, the timing BY DEFAULT will also be right! This is how the universe works, you do not have to force the things that are meant for you, especially relationships.
4. He is just not that into you
Not all people are created equally and are meant for one another. This is why we can be attracted to one person, dislike another person, and feel completely indifferent towards someone else. In order for a man to fall in love with a woman, he has to see immense value in her. He has to be attracted to her overall vibe.
Sometimes a man will not see value in a woman and this is why he won’t commit. He may just not be that into a woman.
This is the thing about a man – he can stay in a relationship with a woman out of comfort for a long time and not be in love with her. Scary thought, isn’t it? Unfortunately, this is the reality for many relationships today.
When a man doesn’t see true value in his woman, he doesn’t understand the true cost of losing her. That’s why does not feel any pressure to commit or to move the relationship forward. A man in this situation will stick around FOR NOW – until he meets his ONE and only goddess.
I truly hope that you are not one of these women and NEVER will be, which is why it is crucial for you to be aware of this because you deserve a man that cherishes every single inch of you.
A man’s behaviour towards you will tell you everything you need to know, especially when it comes to things that matter to you. Pay attention to it.
Allow me to share with you what I call the 80/20 rule which you should always remember in your interactions with men.
If you want to ensure that you are never wrong about a man’s true intentions, then in any given situation give 80% weight to a man’s actions and 20% weight to his words. Easy. Remember it and you will never be mistaken. His actions reveal his emotions towards you. If he is showing you that he is just not that into you, then believe him and understand that he is probably not the guy for you.
HIS DECISION TO COMMIT ULTIMATELY DEPENDS ON HOW YOU SHOW UP AS A WOMAN
Here is the unpleasant truth that many women are not aware of (or don’t want to hear).
If a man is in a stage in his life where he IS ready to commit, his decision to commit to a woman depends entirely on how she shows up with him.
He will hesitate to commit to a woman if he feels that she does not give him enough value as a woman. If she is lacking something that he needs – and I don’t just mean benign things like physical or superficial qualities. No, it goes much deeper than that. Read this article to find out more on what makes him CRAVE to commit to you.
A man’s desire to commit mostly depends on whether he sees you DIFFERENTLY from other women. Whether he sees you as a High Value, unique woman. As a woman, you have a lot more power with men than you think. In fact, you have all the power in the world when it comes to men – all you need to do is tap into your feminine energy and understand how men think. If you want to be part of the 1% of women who know how to be High Value and proactively attract a lifelong commitment from an amazing man, then my #1 e-book will reveal all the secrets to you.
The truth is that most men want to find THE ONE.
What they don’t want is to fall for a woman who will make their life harder and take value from them rather than giving it.
I will let you in on a little secret. A lot of guys do not know what they want until they find it.
Some men out there are single and spend their time partying because they simply have not met a woman who is unlike anyone else. They have not tasted the radiance and magnetism of a feminine, high value princess.
They themselves do not know that they want a commitment until they meet the right woman. But once they do meet her, it’s a game changer. They are so blown away by her that they will do anything just to keep her around.
She is the woman who brings joy, harmony, emotion, connection, and openness into his life.
This is why you hear of guys who date around casually and then all of a sudden one woman comes along and he transforms into a one-woman-man, falls head over heels in love and never looks back. Often, this woman appears to be nothing special, right? Wrong.
He has chosen this woman above all others because she truly understands men. A High Value, High Quality Man will almost never fall in love with the most physically attractive woman, he will fall in love with the most High Value Woman – because he understands the difference.
Think of George Clooney. He is a clear example of a successful, masculine, High Quality Man who remained a bachelor into his 50s. Not because he didn’t want to find the love of his life. Not because he didn’t have options. He simply had high standards and he himself had a lot to offer, so he expected the same in return. He had many beautiful women around him all the time – but he did not COMMIT to any of them. All of a sudden, he met one woman, fell in love, and settled down with her.
So why her?
I am wiling to bet anything that his wife is a High Value woman who understands and respects men. She is willing to be curious about men and their needs. That is what set her apart from everyone else.
And guess what? YOU have that woman inside you – you just have to tap into her and allow her to flourish.
Remember, just because a guy may SEEM like a “player” and uninterested in commitment, does not always mean that he doesn’t want a relationship. He may have simply not met the right woman.
My tinder Story
When I met my husband on Tinder (yes, Tinder!) my first impression based on his profile was that he was a casual, uninterested-in-commitment type of guy.
Funny enough, my husband turned out to be the very opposite of what I initially expected. He is ambitious, intelligent, thoughtful, family-oriented, hilarious, and definitely a one-woman-man. Once I showed him the right sides of myself, our connection really took off. That was the point when I started to see signs of investment from him… and the rest is history. Of course, had he not been looking for a serious connection in the first place, it would not have worked out.
If you are single and looking for love, remember to ask questions when you meet a new guy- find out where he is in his life and if he falls into any of the categories that you read about. The earlier you do this, the easier it will be to determine if he has commitment potential.
At the same time, if a man tells you that he is not looking for a serious relationship and he leaves you feeling confused, believe him. This is not the time to try and win your way into his heart. Instead, you should assume that he is either emotionally unavailable or the timing in his life is wrong for a commitment.
Your job is to show up as your best, most high value self and then pay attention to his actions towards you. If he is not available, move on to somebody who is.
If you have recently started dating someone – try and see which category your guy falls into. Is there anything currently pushing him away from committing to you?
Maybe you have been in a relationship for a while now and you are wondering why he is not taking things further – ask yourself what his intentions are and if there is anything that you can do as a woman to change that.
There are many circumstances that can influence a man’s desire and willingness to commit. But when you put the effort into becoming a High Value, feminine woman, you maximize your chances of getting him to commit. You become a desirable woman and your options with men will skyrocket. Grab my best selling e-book and program “Major Mistakes that 99% of Women Make With Men (and how to avoid them)” if you truly want to learn how to become irresistible today.
Wishing you love, happiness, commitment, and wealth in every aspect of your life!
XoXo,
Darya
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I have met a guy on tinder and we have been dating for 8 months. He seems like me a lot and introduced me to his friends and all of events organized by him, I am invited.
However, at the same time he is also dating others on tinder and I also found out that he is seeing someone he met in airport lounge one day after we met.
We had discussion about our relationship and he mentioned that right now in his life he is not into something serious and he doesn’t want to commit.
His friends told me he does care about me but we just met st wrong time as when I met him he just end up with his last 4.5 years relationship..
What shall I do?
Guys often tell you the truth up front but us ladies hear what we want to hear 🙂 If he mentioned that he is not into something serious and does not want to commit – then he does not want to commit. Find someone who IS ready to give you 100% of themselves and no less. Good luck Lisa 🙂 Xo