The challenges that we face are usually a lack of resources such as the lack of;
- supportive relationships
…(to name a few).
Ultimately, what we all want is to have more resources so that we can have more freedom. Fulfillment comes from the freedom to do what we want and be who we want to be. This allows us to live life authentically and to feel connected to the world.
Some challenges are easier to overcome than others. For instance, the desire to find a good man to fall in love with means you must take the necessary steps to make it happen. If you want to find a great partner then you should probably get out more, educate yourself, create a dating profile, and work on your personal growth. See this post on how to attract a High Quality man.
The key is to acknowledge the obstacles that hold you back so that you can take steps to overcome them. Once you are aware of the things that keep you from being your best self you can learn how to use your personal power in order to improve your life. Here are some tips to help you bring more happiness into your life and allow the confident, inner you to shine! Click here for a MUST READ, empowering post if you are a woman.
1. STOP CARING ABOUT OTHERS’ OPINIONS
Live your life the way that you want to live it and do not let rejection hold you back. We spend a lot of time people-pleasing and allowing fear to keep us small. This prevents us from getting what we really want in life. Learn to fall and get back up again, regardless of what anyone thinks.
Perseverance leads to success.
The less you worry about what others think, the more liberated you will feel.
On this life-long journey of yours, there will always be people who disapprove of you, judge you, and think that they know better than you. There will always be the media trying to tell you how to look, behave, and live your life. If you listen to people, society, the neighbours, etc., you will constantly be pulled in one direction or another and you will never understand who you TRULY ARE at your core.
Remember to ask yourself what you really want, not what you think you should do or what someone else wants for you. Listening to yourself means tuning into what your soul really needs and then acting accordingly. This will allow you to live your life AUTHENTICALLY which means you are free to be YOU.
The more authentic you are, the happier you will be.
Remember that everyone has the right to live life how they choose, including you, so have the courage to live the life that you want. In the end, everything else will not matter.
2. STOP JUDGING
Judging others is a toxic habit. Whether it is talking about your co-workers behind their backs or judging another woman for doing or having something that you don’t. The thing is, judgment always fires back. When somebody judges you for something, remember that all it really means is that they are unhappy with themselves.
The reality is, the more that you judge others, the more you will judge yourself. When we judge others, we often compare ourselves to the very people that we are judging. Remember to never compare yourself with others. Compare yourself only with your yesterday self. You are unique, special, and irreplaceable.
The grass only seems greener on the other side – most of the time, it really isn’t.
Do not let negative people’s judgments affect you. The only opinion that should matter to you is YOURS. You must become your own best friend. Love yourself entirely. Take care of your mind and body because you only have one of each. Learn to live your life in a way that makes you say “I respect myself”, “I am proud of my decisions today” and “I feel good about who I am”.
Remember, people’s opinions are only their own opinions. They will judge you regardless of what you do or don’t do. That’s life.
Ultimately, you are the only one responsible for who you become and whether or not you let fear and judgment hold you back.
3. DO NOT CONFUSE WHAT YOU REALLY WANT WITH WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT
People often confuse their personality with their real self which leads to inner confusion. Your personality is what you show to the world but it is not who you are at your core. It tells you what you think you want – it is merely your EGO. Your ego wants attention, praise, and to feel important.
On the other hand, your authentic (true) self, knows what you really want and need. Your authentic self is what your soul craves, which is very different from the ego. The more your personality is misaligned with who you really are, the more difficult it will be for you to be happy and fulfilled.
Learn to make decisions from an authentic place. The more you practice this, the easier it will become.
In every interaction, ask yourself what your intention is and what feels right for you.
It will help you determine your motivation and what drives you. Is it fear of rejection? Is it curiosity? The desire to connect? The desire to help someone?
Asking yourself the right questions in life is very important. When you learn to align your authentic, true self with the way you interact with the world, you become more fulfilled. Be a person that you yourself are proud of. Do not lose sight of your dreams, your goals, and the things that your soul wants.
4. FORGIVE YOURSELF
We are often our worst critics. We trample on our own self-esteem and talk to ourselves in negative ways. This is definitely one habit that you should break forever. Learn to make mistakes and be okay with them and do your best to avoid criticizing yourself. This requires being aware, open, vulnerable, and accepting of yourself.
Imagine that a good friend called you in tears, telling you that she was criticized by her boss and was made to feel like crap at work? You would probably tell her that everything will be alright. You would help her calm down by showing compassion towards her, right?
So then why are we so accepting of other people’s flaws yet so critical of our own selves?
What I learned from the remarkable Louise Hay is that you must pay attention to the internal dialogue that you have with yourself. Be gentle with yourself as you would be with a close friend or a family member. Whenever something does not go as planned, remind yourself that it is alright to make mistakes because nobody is perfect. Our imperfections make us human and real.
Learn to have compassion for yourself whenever a small failure sets you back. Do not look at it as a failure, but instead, say to yourself – “This is simply a small setback. I will learn from it and do better next time”. The more we can show love, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves, the more comfortable (and confident) we will be in our own skin.
5. TOMORROW NEVER COMES
We are all searching for happiness in life. The paradox is that the more we chase after it, the easier it is to miss it. We are always on the go, go, go, especially in the Western World of fast food, fast check-outs, and fast cars.
We all have days where a million tasks end up on our plate and we sigh with relief once they are over. Some of us live like that every day. The problem with constantly rushing from point A to Z and having all 24 hours in the day booked up is that it takes us away from the NOW. We cannot live in the now when we are busy trying to get to tomorrow. The thing is, tomorrow never comes!
There is only today. Right now.
We have to try and control our insane speed of life as much as we can. We need to practice living in the moment and focusing on what we are experiencing right now. This is what allows us to actually FEEL that we are alive. The more we can do this, the better we get at it. The less we do it, the more disconnected we become from the world.
Living in the moment means watching the sunset, appreciating the stillness of a summer lake, and enjoying a good meal. It means engaging with what is happening right now WITHOUT being somewhere else in your mind. That is when time really slows down.
It also leads to stronger connections with people and the world because you are truly present. When you find yourself missing out on life, catch yourself, take a deep breath in and out and say to yourself “SLOW…DOWN…” Remember, there is never any rush – you will get there sooner than you think.”
Here is one of my favourite quotes “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present” – Master Oogway.
This leads me to the next point – gratitude.
6. SAY “THANK YOU” MORE OFTEN
Gratitude is closely tied into living in the present. When you are grateful for the amazing gifts that you have, you can enjoy the present. Being grateful allows you to realize how lucky you are. In a state of gratitude, fear dissolves. One of the best things you can do is jot down a few things that you were grateful for throughout the day. Making a habit out of this will help you feel enormous fulfillment.
After hearing that Oprah had kept a gratitude journal, I decided to start my own. I admit I used it regularly at the beginning but it was hard to stick with. Then I read Oprah’s book “What I Know for Sure” where she describes how gratitude changed her life and it inspired me once again to look for reasons to be grateful.
Most of us are accustomed to having everything readily available to us – from ipads, to google, to mobile checkouts. We feel that we are entitled because we have been spoiled in so many ways. This makes it difficult to be appreciative unless we ACTIVELY try to be.
Learn to say “thank you” more often and you will be a happier person overall. You will learn to value what you have. Be grateful for the beautiful sunshine, for a savoury home-cooked meal, for your heart’s ability to pump blood through your body. Learning to truly, authentically feel grateful for the wonderful moments in life can make each day feel like a miracle.
7. USE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
Many successful people have used visualization to achieve great success. If you have seen the movie or read the book “The Secret”, you may be familiar with this concept.
When you make a consistent habit to visualize what you want (your ideal partner, your ideal career, your ideal home, your ideal self), whatever it may be – you create that result in your mind, which makes you feel it and believe that it will happen. When you clearly visualize something, your brain perceives you as already having that thing and it makes it easier for it to manifest.
Imagine the end result of something that you want in as much detail as you can, as if you have it already.
Let’s say you are hoping to find the man of your dreams. Visualize his gait, the color of his hair and eyes, imagine how he treats you. Imagine the things that you do together, like trying a new recipe together, or cuddling with a blanket and a glass of wine, while planning your vacation together.
Imagine how he makes you feel and actually FEEL it. Pretend that you have already found this man and that he makes you the happiest woman in the world.
I love Jim Carry’s story about how visualization helped him get what he wanted. Before he was super-famous, he wrote himself a cheque for 10 million dollars and put it on the inside of his wallet so that every time he opened it, the first thing he saw was the cheque. Eventually, it led him to his first ten million which he received for the film Dumb and Dumber. That is how powerful the law of attraction is!
Here is a clip where he describes it;
8. RE-EVALUATE YOUR PRIORITIES
As a woman, you have so much amazing potential and I believe you should always strive to flourish, grow, and evolve. Set goals for yourself (big and small) and re-evaluate them on a regular basis in order to see how your progress is coming along.
Setting goals and coming back to them ensures that you do not lose sight of them – it allows you to hold yourself accountable to them. Plus, seeing progress will keep you motivated.
A small goal may be to start eating fish 3 times a week instead of once a week. A bigger goal may be to lose X amount of weight or save for a vacation by the end of the year. Setting and achieving goals will ensure that you are making progress and that you are not stagnant, which will give your life meaning and fulfillment.
9. ELIMINATE NEGATIVITY
This is mostly in relation to people and environments. The people that somehow bring you down or do not have your back should be eliminated from your life. This is something that must be done if you want to live your best life.
The people that criticize you, judge you, and do not believe in you are toxic to your personal development.
Do your best to filter all of the negativity out of your life. Surround yourself with positive energy and people. Do your best to move forward and do not let anything stand in your way. When you are making the right choices for yourself, the people that are meant to be in your life will be there. Everyone else will fall away and that is how it’s meant to be.
10. FIND YOUR PURPOSE
A lot of us are stuck going through the motions in a life that drains our emotional resources. It may be a dead end job, an unhappy relationship, or simple boredom. For many people, they feel that something is always missing.
Find your true calling, what it is that makes you unique. This is your passion, your desire, your talent, your purpose of being here. We all have something special to give to the world and your job is to determine what that is for you.
It often takes time to find your true calling but it is never too late to shift the course of your life. The important thing is that once you realize what your calling is you should take steps towards it.
Take risks and do not be afraid of change; this is what life is all about – this is what makes you alive! Look for a new job if you can’t stand your current one, invest in a new home, start a business, create something new. Change and movement in life are essential. Remember to set challenges for yourself.
Pull yourself out of your comfort zone and into new experiences. Overcoming even the smallest of challenges will raise your self-esteem and help you grow. All learning happens when you embrace change. The more experiences you have in life, the closer you will get to understanding what it is that you have to give to the world.
Finding your calling will bring you fulfillment and joy like nothing else. Start by asking yourself “who am I really meant to be?” and “what is most important to me?”
Let me know what you think makes people happy and what holds them back.